Tuesday, September 9, 2014

#WhyILeft

I was the first call she made after it happened. She wanted to know if I knew where her purse was. Not knowing why she would ask such a random question, she continued to ask until I heard the hurt in her voice. "What did he do to you?" I asked.

At sixteen years old, I never knew of violence ever being present in this relationship of high school sweethearts. But I knew something was happening. I just didn't know it had a name. After writing down the address she gave me, I had the task of calling her mother to tell her of the situation. I was picked up by my aunt and cousin's brother, and the police were called to meet us at this unfamiliar address.

Imagine seeing the blood of someone you play with, grow up with, trickle from her ear.  Now imagine the confusion I had when the policeman's offer to have her boyfriend arrested was rejected.

That was my first introduction to domestic violence. Throughout my life, it seeped through walls shared by neighbors, became surprise deliveries to offices shared by co-workers, and eventually landed in my own path. But the difference between my experience and the women I knew was that I left BEFORE I was physically abused.

There is not one person who doesn't know someone affected by it. Whether it is physical, psychological, financial, verbal or sexual, domestic violence will affect 1 in 3 women in their lifetime. And it affects women from all walks of life.

With the release of the vicious elevator videotape of Baltimore Raven's Ray Rice yesterday, the world threw a collective flag on the play. Opinions are as diverse as a man's livelihood has nothing to do with his personal life, to his jersey being burned in protest.

I even had a spirited debate with my husband, who believes men are getting "a bad rap" because no one is putting attention on their need for help.  Bless his heart.  My response to his "logic" is that when a man behaves like a boy, he should be treated like one, which means you take from him what he prizes the most. And in this case, just like Chad Johnson, it's his career. I just hope the NFL owns their responsibility to their fans by having the league don purple next month for domestic violence awareness, just as they do for breast cancer.

On the opposite scope of the topic, society is quick to turn attention to the woman's role in the situation. Much like the mindset of a sexual predator, abusers use gifts, mind games and threats to contain victims in a prison without walls. I can't answer why a woman would stay in an abusive relationship, because all I know from my personal experience is that the unrest in my spirit would not allow me to.  Over-the-top jealousy and raising a voice is as foreign to me as Payless shoes.  I loved him, but I loved myself so, so much more.

Prevention is the key to stopping domestic violence. A raised voice can quickly turn into a raised hand. That's why it is my goal to reach as many women I can with my book How To Stylishly Fall From Grace. A portion of every book sold benefits Say NO - UNiTE To End Violence Against Women.

Footnote:  To get a glimpse into the mind of a woman who did stay, look no further than Sarah Kogod's powerful testimony:

And I thought that was my responsibility to take this broken man who loved me and fix him. And I tried so hard to fix him. But while I was fixing him, he was breaking me.


 

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Boot Camp



Fall is  the perfect time to step up your footwear, and what better way than with these decadently woven leather booties! Balanced on 110mm bamboo heels and rear zipper closure, your view is guaranteed to be fabulous.

BALMAIN for women from LUISAVIAROMA

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

On The Prowl

DOLCE & GABBANA - 105MM KATE LEOPARD PRINT PONYSKIN PUMPS  


This fall, leopard print is the workhorse in your wardrobe.  Cause shoe envy in these fabulous 105mm ponyskin heels; purrrfect to wear with jewel tones and winter white.






Wednesday, August 13, 2014

50 Shades of Grey



Whether you run, skip or sprint to the movie theater to see 50 Shades of Grey next Valentines Day, what will be just as hot is the trend grey.  Here are a few footwear choices to get you there in style, like the Gray Suede High Heel Booties shown above.




 


Friday, August 8, 2014

WIN THIS: A Bottle of Rouge Louboutin Nail Colour!

 

The decision is in; no bunion surgery for me; WOOT!  But I am still in mourning, after seeing the selection of shoes in Wide width (the alternative option to surgery)...

At least this news will brighten your day.  With Christian Louboutin's launch of his beauty line, the price of his Rouge Louboutin nail colour is a far cry from a pair of his coveted shoes, but at $50, it's still highbrow.  Lovely Amanda at Save Your Sole luxury shoe care is giving you a chance to win a bottle this month!  

Just follow her on Twitter and retweet the contest.  But if you don't want to wait, grab your own bottle of Christian Louboutin Beaute 'Rouge Louboutin' Nail Colour at Nordstrom.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Possible Bunion Surgery?! No Pressure

My absence from shoe blogging has been more to do with mourning than neglect.  With a pending foot surgery looming in my future ("Ma, my bunion is not from my heels, it's from my lineage!"), I have been living life in flip flops.  Cue the violins...

That is, until a podiatrist appointment advised me to stay away from my flip flops and Tieks ballet flats. Turns out the styles of footwear I thought was comforting to my bunion is actually doing more harm than good.   

After my appointment, he wrote me out a prescription for insoles. And suggested I do nightly ice soaks.  But most importantly, he told me I should wear a slight heel to relieve the pressure of walking flat.  Um, Doc, define slight, because my arsenal of heels doesn't teeter under four inches...

Looks like a summer shoe shopping spree is prescription for relief!